It's jus a matter of time~

I have the minor flu bug-nevertheless it not fun. it is just a matter of time... waiting to feel better.

One color many paint splatters...

I said to my friend .... I feel like one color of paint, having many other splatters of other colors on top of my main shade. I have yet to know more about this.
Something tells me .... I will find more, I can feel something brewing. Nothing wrong with seeking to know more~

Dr. Larry Silver responds:
"There are three behaviors found with ADHD. Some will have one; some two; some all three. One is hyperactivity. This is usually seen in adults by fidgety, restless behaviors. The second is inattention. This is experienced by either auditory distractibility, visual distractibility, and/or internal distractibility. The third is impulsivity, problem waiting before speaking or doing certain behaviors.
If you have one or more of these AND they have been present for most of your life AND they exist in two or more areas of your life (work, home, social), you might have ADHD. If you think so, see a professional who is familiar with Adult ADHD." ( Article From : AADitude.com)

~I just talked to a friend today and explained this information but in feeling not fact. Co-Morbid exsistance is something else I need to look into and I crindge at the possible findings or more thorns in my flesh. I felt a hint of that old pain I had been going through but I did not let it grip me~

Bye For Now ....

I have a beautiful mind..I'm thankful ~

I'm doing the right things ~

If you go to bella's archives (scroll on right side to find the link) you will see the shock and grief I had to face. Yes I "faced!"
One must 'face" when a loved one dies-
One must "face" when they give up a lover or an addiction-
One must face when they realize the thier brain freezes,brick walls and chronic physical symptoms finally get an answer to their exsistance.
For me, the "FACE OFF" began with words like structural disorder-misunderstood-un-curable,genetic-paralysis of the will and much more...

I'm cleaning/sorting/organizing my home. Essentially this is a mirror to the rest of my goals- I'm finding a place for everything to make my life one that is more manageable-so I can conserve energy, so that I may move forward in many other areas. I'm re-learning me ... and I have one girlfriend in specific that I would LOVE to publicaly thank but I cant here.
I'm doing the right things- A bit busy to be here but I want you all to see- I did not get stuck-the season is changing and so am I~

I have a beautiful mind and I'm thankful for it!

Photo journal from Oct.5th/06 Sleeping or Awake?

I was working on the Blog on the 5th of last month so I had little to say and just had a picture. .... Today however, I have something to say! Warning: If you dont like it here today, feel free to come back another time or go to the archives and read (see link for bella's archives) ... I'm inviting you to pass politely because I'm not HOLDING any punches today!
I committed to write about other peoples experiences so here it goes ....
*I listened to a hurt heart from a friend of mine yesterday who has ADD. I cant come out and say who-what-where-how and when. SO ... How do I do this then ... how do I write about my friends experience? The best I can do is ~ Talk or preach if you will, about some-things everyone in general can learn from or ponder on >attitudes/conduct/doctrine?< Sounds good to me~

I believe walking by faith (in principle alone) produces a beautifully led life. Pain or no pain-in bad or good times ... one can still be beautifully led, heck we make decisions ALL day long, every day of our lives why not add this art in a deeper way as we age. All of us use faith every day, we just do not think or talk in this realm. * I believe the counterfeit of "Faith" is an enemy called The Law. NOTE: I SAID "CONTERFEIT"-THE LAW IS NOT USELESS-I'M SAYING I THINK IT IS A COUNTERFEIT TO SUPERNATURAL FAITH-ALONE! Law can kill the internal knowledge of who we are really made to be. Law removes all the "stain removing power" that the Blood of Jesus provides. NOTE: it is there ... in the scripture ... if one lives by the Law the blood of Christ is of no affect to them.
Why would God put a boundarie on "law APPROACH" verses the "faith" approach? Is there something precious about the Blood of Jesus?? Law reveals in us our need for Grace but it cant "do the job" it cant cleanse sin, or falling short-it actually entices people to sin. Maybe this is how we can see what sin is alive and kicking somewhere within us? Why live under the "Laws" roof, why not just visit it for the betterment of ourselves? Why not use it as an exposer of our needs for forgiveness rather .... Hmm ~

When I study Kenpo I learn to disarm one who may want to kill me. If the law can kill me spiritually by keeping me from the cleansing blood, (which allows warm fuzzies and relationship/intimacy) with God. Shall I stand by and let "Law" rob me? I cant keep from sinning every day I live - I need some advocacy- So I can choose two different attitudes ~ (1) A humble, prayerful and willing to be (led AND OBEY IN FAITH)attitude OR ~(2) an attitude that says subtly-do this-do that- call it good-know if you are doing "good" and not doing "sin" - why THEN YOU are the cats meow!! :) Since you are, as you are ... do you let the dogs into your yard? Oh yes, I know cats are domesticated and dogs are not ... yes~yes ... but do you ? LET the dogs into your yard for Thanksgiving, Christmas etc.? Lets go beyond the local yard ... do you let them into YOUR HOME?

Or should I ask ... is anyone out there sleeping? On Oct.5th I used this pic to say ... I'm working on this blog it will come alive (or be renewed) soon!
Here comes the harsh truth, no tickling of the ears now. For those who call themselves christians listen up!! UNLESS- I repeat UNLESS- you tell the dog why it cant come into your yard I would warn you that the scripture says > if YOU DONT say something YOU will get punished for THEIR sin! The "FATHER" is fair in His parenting so take note. If our conduct is not loving God with all of our mind heart and soul AND loving our neighbor as ourself ... then what umbrella are we standing under because it could rain at any minute ? ! I want to be covered! I humbly ask to be led and or be led BACK to - "faith led living"~ Let me say this ... if a dog is going to molest, beat or abuse, make SURE you are led to do the right thing under those circumstances please!!! However, if you are a cat (by nature they tend to make their own rules) be careful of your unconscious Laws. If you see someones sin leading them to the "slaughter" and you just-bar off your yard-act religous and don't have a sit down truth talk with people in your life (A.) You are not a true friend in my book and (B.) You will inherit the same punishment (From God) that they will get for their sin...the "sin" you dont like! We have little need for "LAW" attitudes- so lets get away from that so our and other peoples sin can get washed away in a blink of a repentant second! In other words WAKE UP!!

My friend who has ADD is a dog ... and I tell this person so!! "FAITHFUL ARE THE WOUNDS OF A FRIEND, DECIETFUL ARE THE KISSES OF THE ENEMY." I'm BRUTALLY honest with this person. I know their ADD has hindered them from getting set free. I exspose the fact then say>this is no excuse!! But never the less, the yard was barred on Thanksgiving Day and the cat sat in the window and watched the dog so to speak. The feelings my friend was made to have are indicators (tellers) God put in us...we can be lacking but we are not stupid! I know this -IF we think we MIGHT be putting someone off THE LEAST we can do is tell them the facts. NO COMMUNICATION IS COMMUNICATION ~ So my freind has struggles with rejection because the ADD has hindered a proper healing from the doggie dog ways. It is 50/50 thing, 50% my friends fault 50% possible law attitudes or severe ignorance all across the board! ~ What tips the scale? Check the temp. on the inside of the heart ... Loving neighbor as self ? Loving God with all of the mind-heart and soul in there, deep down inside?
God fashioned in me a beautiful mind and I'm thankful for this ~

On the phone ...

here are some Pics ... a couple I took while on the phone with my son. I'm having a bad back day so no writing until I feel a bit better ~

HAPPY THANKSGIVING ~

LOENARDO dA VINCI IS BEING USED TO PROMOTE ...

I saw Mona Lisa at Y________ when I went to check my e-mails yesterday (Tuesday). A clip of Mona would fade out then fade back in. I noticed the captions underneath each new rendition of Mona Lisa as she was dwindling into a pencil sketch with each new take.

The captions went as follows __ "What if ... Leonardo da Vinci had Adult Attention Deficit Disorder" (Adult ADD)? __ "What if Leonardo was Distracted and Disorganized"? "What's keeping you from completing your tasks"? The last caption ended with this ... "If you suspect that you may have Adult ADD, Take A Simple Screener >"

I have been on a journey, quoting OTHER people's ADD experiences lately . This information regarding Leonardo is on the same page for me as it is raising awareness through another persons life. I have a feeling of wonderment today as I see Mona Lisa fading from a work of art into a pencil sketch to provoke awareness over ADD. Leonardo's hand is still fruitful and not just as an artist obviously. I wonder if he suffered like I and many others have. I'm here journaling publicly so I can do something healthy for myself. If another persons life is touched, I will be extremely happy. If my life can cause someone to understand a person with ADD, so more harmony and less pain can be achieved, this alone will allow me to die peacefully when my time comes.
I told my sister last night that I'm beginning to think people with ADD are much like albino's ... they are profoundly lovely if you ask me and they too struggle with a genetic disorder. In humans I guess certain limitations manifest in their bodies. Albino's are set apart as beautiful but rare in my mind.
I have a beautiful mind that I'm learning to embrace for the first time ever and I give thanks for this~


"Where the spirit does not work with the hand there is no art" Leonardo da Vinci ~