More interesting news....

I have much to say but no time to wrtite.....
I will leave the newest pics then come back later.

Thankful still for my beautiful mind~

This is David ...

So David is an artist and we had fun with my "sassy Mac Book" last night ...
Here are some pics we "figured out" as we were trying out my photo lab after Kenpo Karate class! It was fun to show our "art" in such a short order of time..the other students were talking Kenpo and we were off to the side having a hoot being artists! MAC's are great!

This Kid is awesome ..... in Kenpo class he is the only ... let me repeat the ONLY one I can hit AND the only one I feel comfortable opening the can on! :) I can tell he can take the pain.
It is A HUGE gift for fella's to let the females learn like this, becasue if attacked they now will be more inclined to be able to defend themselves.
Kenpo has been a type of medicine for my whole life. It is great and I love it a ton.
Here is to the martial arts and more...

I have a beautiful mind and I'm thankful!

My Own Sassy...

If you have been reading for some time, then you will know who "Sassy" is!
Sassy is a MacBook ... now I have one of my very own... college is the excuse and reason...but Bella's Blog was MADE (from day one) with a MacBook.

Yep...new pics as of today ...I had zero makeup on and I'm a very tired girl. I can see how the stress wore on me this last season. It is weird to capture your face for months and see the change ... it really speaks volumes of what a broken heart and stress can do to a person. But guess what! I cant even begin to find the time to tell you all how positive I am in my daily life now MORE THAN ever!! This rough season changed me inside-something I would not exchange for gold! I know better what it means to have a beautiful mind and the world is changing as a result of this womans heart...I fight now, more than ever, for those who do not have a voice~

I have a beautiful mind and I'm thankful....

TBI

I said I would write about "Temporary Brain Injury" so I will fallow through on my promise. I can not say I'm in a great mood today ... however I'm managing it fine. My goal is to experience a more tempered electrically wild world (thru meds) of being able to focus well enough, so that I can tell the difference...then pattern from there new behaviors and awareness.
This is a great lead into the TBI subject. AD/HD can be brought on by certain brain injury's, seizures, strokes and other medical triggers as well. So now we have medically induced AD/HD. I looked into this subject a little and I guess ALL of the syptoms between AD/HD and TBI (in frontal lobe area) are the same. The treatments and medications used are apparently are the same, but they come form totally different places. One is medically induced as I stated and the other, one is born with like my case. I know two people who have medically induced AD/HD .... I see their state and in my opinion, they are both unaware of the effects as of late. The person I have known for years definitely knows they have this as a diagnoses but is still unaware of how it infects relationships and relationship to everyday life. The second person I know does not have an AD/HD diagnoses ...they have TBI in the frontal lobe area of the brain where AD/HD can and does stem from. Through brief conversation (and my experience with this person) the AD/HD symptoms are blatantly obvious. This second person I do not know well. I would be curious to know if their current behaviors are much different from before their TBI symptoms. If not, I would wonder if they had this AD/HD (stubborn) problem all along, thus it would not be "TBI" but rather congenital AD/HD. It seems like NO-ONE asks theses questions of themselves or their medical Doctors. It seems like NO-ONE advocates for themselves...we lay down in our passivity and suffer the consequences thereof. The only fighters I have come across that are close to the arena I'm in, are those parents of Autistic children!! KUDOS to them! I have had SOOO many people come into my life with AD/HD problems .... and I know it is so I can reach out to them. I believe when we begin to heal we attract others who need awareness and healing themselves. I can't tell you how strong I feel about this!! My sister heard a doctor speak on AD/HD a week ago. She noted the doctors description of our beautiful minds (from one aspect)....AD/HD (beautiful minds) see the whole picture at once. The problem with this ...?.... the people that do not see the whole picture at once have a hard time receiving form your insight and vision if you will. We are not mini Gods and do not claim to be ....but we have a beautiful ability to see in dynamic ways....HOWEVER, if we go untreated and unaware, we will destroy others around us and eventually ourselves!
The problem with AD/HD is this .... it is a problem (in my opinion) that must be confronted by the outside first. Meaning one has to accept when another who "KNOWS what the symptoms are" and recognize when confronted! That person then has two choices-A. be humble and start learning so YOU CAN SEE or B. keep walking along life, stubborn and blind until you self distruct. Here are some simple indicators (my opinion alone here) ...Note your age in light of; addictions, broken relationships, career and schooling. Usually all or most of these have suffered... and in my case my body would do what my heart said NO to! Do not get me wrong I have great self control despite my case. I would love to set a standard as to classify 1st 2nd and 3rd degree symptoms. This would be good for awareness if you ask me. NOTE THIS ... AD/HD is an invisible disorder because sufferer's are HIGH functioning and NOT globally impaired. Once awareness is there ...we COULD see more than ever.....we COULD feel more than ever....we COULD can connect with others better than ever as well! I refuse to be a COULD of SHOULD of anymore. I will and am!!

I have a beautiful mind and I'm thankful~

Oprah Yesterday ...

Oprah's program yesterday focused on Autism or better said parents with children who have autism. My sister is an autistic therapist and has taught these children how to "mand" - we would call this talking. I currently work with a higher functioning autistic child. I have much to say on this subject... back in the archives I reference the book ..the AD/HD-AUTISM Connection, Author Diane Kennedy. I was so happy for the parents that they have now gotten a voice. This same voice is much needed for those with AD/HD as well but I would guess it would be harder for reason I do not have time to go into today. I will touch on a subject in the next few days regarding TBI (Temporary Brain Injury) and (depending on where in the brain) it's connection to AD/HD. I told my sister this week about this subject and asked her if she saw now as to why I was SO grieved by the reality of having AD/HD my whole life-not knowing what monster I had fought and lost to all these years. Besides it is an "invisible disorder" a quote here form Psychotherapist Sari Solden who was diagnosed mid-life just like myself. I have a passion for every medical condition I mentioned here today ... a passion to change the world as I know it. I can only pray that God give me the voice. I see "Doctor Future" today ... last appointment I told him we needed to get some things changed with the AD/HD arena in the medical community. :) I would love to see life coach's, one time a week-in home, paid by insurance for those diagnosed with AD/HD. He said we would HAVE TO PROVE the need or something close to that (I'm not quoting him here). Today I will bring up as to how we can start this process or nay for that matter to raise awareness regarding the pain AD/HD causes. I'm waiting for that someone who will team up with me ... In the mean (and it is mean time) many suffer knowingly and un-knowingly.

So Thankful for all the beautiful minds ~

Trouble For Girls ...

"Boxed In BY ADD":
"Hope for the future"
"The medical community is waking up to the fact that ADD is a big problem for girls and that the condition often persists into adulthood, says Nadeau. For now, she says, any woman who suspects she has ADD should educate herself about the condition—and consult a mental-health professional who specializes in the field."
http://www.additudemag.com/selfhelp.asp?DEPT_NO=406&ARTICLE_NO=5
Note the verbiage used in the parts of the article I have posted above .... "Hope For the Future"
I took this excerpt from back in December as to support yesterdays entry ....
As a woman, my heart is broken ... ADD/HD is indeed a big problem for girls. I talked to a friend yesterday who I have mentioned here before ...he is an MD and was the one who noticed my condition before anyone else did medically. I told him ... life would be easier for me if I was a guy when it came to dealing with certain emotions ... he agreed. My son has a girlfriend who has a shortened life expectancy due to a certain condition. In the beginning of their relationship, his girlfriend made sure he understood her health and asked him if he still wanted to be in her life ...he said yes...a couple weeks ago he gave her a "You and only You" ring. It heals me to see my son be a man, he sets a great example. He takes extra care to listen and talk out all emotions, concerns and joys with his sweetie ... she is well taken care of and I'm blessed by this~

I have a beautiful mind and I'm thankful for it ~

Sad By Sensory

Sad By Sensory

Well ...the journey goes on ....
Lately I have just happened to be talking about sensory sensitivity or intergrational sensory disorder ... same thing two different medical terms. My Doctor and I talked about this disorder as it is co-morbid with AD/HD and I can still hear the conversation go to ...there is no real treatment for what I experience.
Now some are physically sensitive to the point where one would get occupational therapy to help them cope with everyday life. Mine is predominantly internal from taste buds to my tender heart. KEY POINT TO UNDERSTAND...Remember that women have to fight for themselves on the issue of ADD/HD these days because they never knew it was not "just a male disorder." I'm speaking for voices of AD/HD women who have been labeled and tossed .... males who were hyper sensitive got the ADD/HD flag because it was NOT the nature of a male to have some of our sensory quirks... girls were just sensitive by nature. Here is where the ball dropped on females in the medical community and co-morbid sensory disorders. Sensory sensitivity present in my life has been labeled in many ways....labeled everything but what it really was .. SENSORY ..NOT PICKY ...now once again I know I'm NOT a bad person when I only enjoy certain parts of life. The sad by sensory that I noted in the tag line for today means this ... it is hard for me to be in relationship with a fella unless he understands the way I feel pain. I do not even want to go into all the details of my internal electrical fires that can burn on my soul at times ... I have hated this ...thus I have hated me...this I now recognize so no more hatred and the other stuff I'm trying to change. I know I'm made with a beautiful mind. Spiritually I'm receptive which has saved my life (literally) and people tend to gravitate towards my troubleshooting when in pain themselves. I can't seem to find anyone who can wade in my waters with me though ...if they did they would get a human electrical shock which usually manifests in ...ah she is emotional or something maybe lesser would be slapped on my being. I'm sad today because I don't know how to man handle certain aspects of thie sensory stuff. I understand it which is life changing ... but I want more ... that is why I'm here ... I fight for myself and others in the process.



I have a beautiful mind and I'm thankful~