Correction made on "Dr. Whatever and more" ....

My apologies ... I went back and changed/corrected something I said in my last post RE: working with a Doctor ...
I said I had not worked with a Doctor up until now and of course that is all together silly. I had two Doctors diagnose me separately (not on purpose), just worked out that way and I took advantage of the permissions given. My primary Doctor deals with all AD/HD patients at my clinic and I have had him on board for the length of this or since the beginning.
Dr. Normal is really trying to help my get symptoms under controll ... I would have stayed with the last pschyologists but he had zero to offer and let me know that up front in a round about way. He attempted to reach into the diet and nutrition area of my life but before that he had asked me a question about continuing and I got it right away that he did not see the need and it would be hard to justify re-visits..he offered expensive support groups and I got some books out of him and I knew it was time to look elsewhere. This is an experience I have had many times even while just reading articles on ADD/HD, even Doc. Norm acknowledges this dark hole in the system for ADD/HD.
As of yesterday, Dr. Normal and I are looking at my sleep ... very important and could change my life ... stay tuned and we will see!

I should say that I have been feeling great lately as well and I'm of course excited now about learning to dance around my beautiful mind and sensory sensitivities. I see all of the strengths and I said this week to some friends of mine ....I'm gonna make people want to have ADD/HD !
I have a beautiful mind and I'm truly thankful~

Dr. Whatever and more ....

I have a new DOCTOR on board. For those of you who did not know I have NOT worked with a psychologist or therapist YET on this Add/HD issue (Outside of being diagnosed really). I think about the "season" of acceptance I have gone through. As a female "sufferer" doing my own research was a must (certain articles I read told me to search for my own answers if I was female) I had started to do that already, only because I saw there was "nothing enough" for me. Then we have that grieving alone piece, because no one CAN understand, it is almost impossible. Can a man know what it is like to birth a child? So yes, when I say people don't understand is the truth ... they CANT, there is no self pity here it is just a fact.
What do I name my Doc so I can talk about this avenue here ...hmmm, I'm thinking. I don't want to use His initials. What do I want ...I want to be healed from my beautiful quirks in a way that makes life more normalized than not. I want to make a difference in this world for all ADD/HD sufferers and I want to move the medical arena to pay for a "coach" for all diagnosed adults to have one time a week in their home for three hours. The coach would encourage, help around the home and help set and keep goals. I will call him Doc. Future because no matter what he is helping me get to my future.
As for the challenge to be the first one to walk in healing over this ADD/HD thing ... I'm working on it, I just want ed you to know Mr. or Mrs..or Miss "Anonymous" ...I'm working on it NOW! ;)

I have a tremendously beautiful mind and I'm thankful!

Albino In The Sun ...

Sometimes having to resort to common known words to explain the beautiful mind is a minus. A bad day for a beautiful mind might be stress related-sleep related-to much stimulation related-under active really distracted related...
For my beautiful mind it is best for me to manage these areas or I'm like an albino in the sun ...acute consequences can set in if unattended. There is something inherent here and I will find the positive side of it ... I'm determined to have more answers~

I have a beautiful mind and I'm thankful~

The Horse Is Special To ...

FYI..I LOVE HORSES!!!

Please forgive me but I do not know what breed of Horse this is as I have forgotten. I do know the bloodline of this horse is rich in that they were a "WAR" orientated breed. I was allowed the very tender task of combing through this beautiful babes mane...warned to be extremely methodical I knew how to groom a horse luckily or I would have not been able to touch Him. I respect this out of knowledge and experience showing horses in my youth.

Now...here we have a strong horse that can take on its back a warrior and fight along side until death or victory....but if you comb His mane improperly it will break. Tender and tough .... this is ADD/HD beauty manifested in another light. We are known ot be Warriors, problem solvers and much much more but we have our special needs as well.
Why God made us this way is beyond me. I have been challenged here at Bella's to 'show up" and to walk in healing of this ADD/HD "thorn" or disorder. I want to .. I just don't know how to get around the potential of breaking the mane if I go at it wrong.
I have a beautiful mind~

Just a litte break ...

Today is just a hard day. Yesterday and today I have had a cold ... and I kinda got my heart broke as well ... it is a little break, but that is enough to make a girl cry.

I have had a "type" of internal pain all of my life (sensory sensitivity) read about it before you judge-this is co-morbid with the ADD/HD. Yet another revelation along the way. Here is an amazing example of ADD/HD manifestation I will share with you....
Note: this only happens when I'm at home whre I'm relaxed and In my ultimate comfort zone.Now days when my son comes into the room and startles me I don't get tense ... Something different I have never felt happens ... I get tingles starting at my head....only to travel down my body and back up. One time, it ended in my teeth but usually it ends in my head and it hurts wherever it ends. I have NEVER had this throughout life even though it has been in my body. In the past it manifested FAR different (behaviorally) until I extracted information about stimming in regards to all this ADD/HD stuff if you will.I have modified my "physical" behavioral habits/ (knee jerk reactions). I cant help but be amazed as to how I used to "cushion" this energy through certain behaviors and now I'm left to feel them IN MY BODY! I do not allow the stress levels I once had before. I tend to ride out the tingling sensation and I'm thankful its me feeling this and that there is no outward manifestation of stress pouring out on my loved ones. NOTE: I have always struggled with my heart not matching what my body does, even if my body used words and emotion! I'm not globally disabled here folks, but I think about the many that do not have understanding over themselves as this is a very complex disorder here and everyone is different . I would guess that is is more likely ADD/HD sufferers are reacting physically at loved ones and causing themselves and their loved ones pain. There is no room for explanation when we fail only judgment...I say this because I felt why why why..?..so many times! WOW, what a life right ..NO....that is a slow path of destruction! Once I knew for myself the nature of my beautiful mind in this area I then made myself accountable. I have a tender heart indeed but I can be very strong as well so balance exists.
Now how about that "kittle break"... When it comes to my heart, I will need a fella who has more naturally driven compassion than most. I tend to see things on a deeper level in life and sometimes this can be painful and other times it is helpful and brilliant.
This all ads up...being sensitive is great for having a good relationship....
Good relationship material is impossible to find (it seems). I have lost faith in this area lately. Intelligence is at the core of this last statement of mine ... intelligence makes up for so many words when with one you love ... I love that not having to speak thing when the one you love knows what you would, or were gonna say! So ... just a little break in a tender place today. I really do not know what I would do without God as He understands me and all of my litte Princess needs~
I have a beautiful mind and I'm thankful ...

Way Amazing 27 years later ....

27 Years later and I find myself talking to friends .... (in their eighties mind you) who have two children who are not married and they have no grandchildren. I told them about Intergrational sensory issues and my own symptoms and the lights were going on like no tomorrow as they sat and listened to me.
One of their children specifically is like my older sibling and is have watched her suffer from things and have a low self esteem all of her life (she is approx. 20 years older than I).This family has published works out there so I cant talk openly. Let me just say this ... It was an awesome feeling to be able to share with people who cared and understood. It was awesome to hear and feel them rejoicing in the revelations I have come into this last year. I can talk about ADD/HD here but out there I cant anymore. This Blog is dedicated to ADD/HD that is why I can come here ...but even my readers want to see more ... it will come and please give me time to get through this plateau. I called on school today, I have been re-doing things in my home, I have basically re-structured my head and do in many ways now. I will make a way or find a way to go upwards. People must understand that I thinkI cant becasue of millions of experiences of hitting neurobiological walls (literal walls) and it hurts inside BAD! Now I have to re-structure my thinking and will. It is not that easy to do when you are pushing against your own electrical current so to speak! I got to be like the litte engine that thought she could!
I have a beautiful mind~

Reply to the 1/26/07 comment (see below this post).

I want to thank whomever wrote the comment you all can find below this post. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. I actually wrote the 26th's post "No communi-cado Is Communicado" for a different blog and decided to put it here as well...I shoud be more direct more often ... this is great!

Do I feel wounded by your truthfulness ..?... NO because everything you said is right on. I could beg to differ with you on a few points regarding ADD/HD but your message to me causes me to talk about what I have not been talking about here at Bella's due to some sort of insecurity. I can now choose to let your words launch me into talking about where I am at now.
I have been getting confronted with the very things you speak of. Life and death are in the power of the tongue and when used, I will eat the fruit (in my life) with what I produce my tongue...how I sow ... how I profess daily matters a ton.
My boss my sister and I were talking about metaphysical laws two nights ago and how it is being said that negative energy runs at the same frequency's positive energy in the brain, according to certain studies. Therefore If you speak and think negative you will receive negative and like wise for the positive. Someone out there is saying this is as much of a law as gravity. POINT .... OUR attitudes .. professions ... beliefs run like current and create or destroy. Now put free will and God into that mix. Add to that my professions here and your observations and I think you have made a point well taken.
I wonder ... are you are Prophetically gifted?
Here are more 'random" thoughts about "the comment"
*There is nothing like a good crack in the A frame to get someone motivated to move into the next season at hand.
*Saying I have a beautiful mind over and over has re-mapped my mind ... that is why I say it publicly.
*Now days I'm having thoughts about the vast majority of ADD/ADHD diagnoses as being far more than a "medical diagnoses" ... I'm thinking it is a people group that has been left behind in some respects and misunderstood ... my thoughts are evolving/changing....I have changed.
*I told my 15 yr. old son over one week ago it is a new rule in our home to speak out positively (not to be in denial) but to profess despite how we feel and the circumstances at hand. I told him, to do this deal in life we need to be on the same team. *I am going to read him your comment so he knows God speaks to me and puts a fire under my feet as well .... I will humble myself in front of him and show him, as I teach him, I'm being taught!!
*Whoever you are out there ... you are right ....
*How about it Zoe ... how about a prosperous, healthy wealthy life and NOT the past baggage full of low Hummmmmmmm .. *I'm now kicking that low hummmm freaky frequency out of my life one or more lies at a time.

**Last night I stepped off a lower landing in my home and folded my left foot over....I was not able to move ....I was on my way out the door to go to Kenpo for the first time in months. I was to give my sons girlfriend a ride home and I told the boy .. "I cant drive" (tears/pain). My son said "you can drive, you can drive" . I looked puzzled at him and he said .."I'm thinking and speaking positive". He had chosen his first positive words in the midst of a moment he knew we were bound to ... I smiled at him and he smiled back, he could see I was pleased with him! I did not put his micro spec of added sarcasm down AT ALL, as he was being a team player the only way he knew how. His girlfriends mom came over and looked at my foot as she is a nurse. I did not drive, I got a little medical attention and I was happy that despite how things worked out my son spoke positive ... now we ARE heading in a different direction ... training our beings to metaphysically attract the positive and positive came.

I have a beautiful mind ~ I'm glad I have resisted the temptation to ask for a new one at the end of each entry here! Indeed, I have been tempted many times ... but I have refused that negativity ~