From My Palace I Have overcome The Castles -This IS NO Cinderella Complex~

Over coming my stronghold has helped me have eyes that see ~
I had many sets of plans last night and I made two but one really stood out as being unique. I met with a girlfriend, her boyfriend and one fella (a friend of theirs) who I had never met. As the night went on, we got on a subject that was kind of heated if you will. I will not disclose the details leading up to what I'm about to share but I will say, I was triggered.... I could smell neuro biological dysfunctions in the air.

Up until this point my girlfriends boyfriend and his buddy took a liking to me. The boyfriend was a walking encyclopedia and had a small ego as to what was stored in his brain.... I had to one up him and mention a couple kinds of sciences that he knew nothing about. My no fear no "BS" attitude RE: Life etc. apparently got me positive points until the subject of ADD/HD came up. I piped up and as soon as I did the boyfriend scowled at me and said..”do you even know anything about ADHD and autism"? Well, first I could not believe he used both these disorders on the same sentence!! Then I looked at him and squinted my eyes right back at him as to mirror him and said … “as a matter of a fact I do-the first book I read on the subject was the ADHD-AUTISM connection”!
Here started the small game of verbal ping pong … then he threw out, well they thought I was a retard when I was little and I am high functioning autism … then I threw out . (as I looked at his girlfriend) oh, he has a beautiful mind! Then he threw out … that I did not know what it was like to remember every single thing you EVER learn or hear!! I said, I actually forget everything but I can tell you when someone is going to die and I’m not talking old people… AND he cut in and said, OH that is nothing; I can smell death so easily. I had a moment to pause, then I looked at his girlfriend and said … well hun, if this man tells you he loves you HE DOES. He has a beautiful mind and he cant do it any other way, he loves you or he does not….period. He would not look at me anymore but he softened and he leaned over to her and said, this is right … and validated his true love for her. After all was said and done and we were giving hugs … I told my girlfriends boyfriend, hey I love ya and he said … I don’t know if I love you yet and I said …you will someday! I could see softness in his eyes he was trying to hide.

It is not over yet folks!! The friend “who I had not met” told me as we were walking to our cars that his son has ADHD which led to a long discussion. He told me how his almost ex-wife lived so unhealthily as she stayed up late. I told him she was not trying to be unhealthy; she was trying to tire out her body so she could sleep. Then when I stated a fact that I had frustrations (like his buddy had shared earlier in the night) where I saw things other people couldn’t see … he stopped me and said ..”my son has told me ..Dad I see things other people do not see”. He looked like he was in the midst of a revelation. I told this fella …. Your buddy quit looking at me totally at one point tonight. He said.. oh he most likely got bored with you (totally spectrum related behavior my mind said) I replied with this …he did not get bored, I suspect that I caused him to stimm out … I touched his heart in which many cant do because he has a beautiful mind … this fella went again into the revelation zone as he had known this buddy since college.
There is so much more I could share about this night but it would be to hard to long. Know this … I was in tears this morning. I could see a man burdened with knowledge and knowing’s he wish would just go away ( I can relate in this to a degree). Then we have a man who does not understand his wife and the son they bore is on the top 1% of intelligence with ADHD symptoms that drive his dad to go over the top to get him organized in life so he can keep up with his beautiful mind. At this very moment, there is a program on MTV-real life stories about people who have turrets. I just read this morning in a ADD/HD magazine that turrets is co-morbid with ADHD and I knew this. My teenage son and his buddy are here, watching this program and they started laughing at the people because the manifestations seem funny to them. I told them …don’t laugh boys … turrets is co-morbid with ADHD and you both have been diagnosed, with ADHD, you best be thankful. They quit laughing and believe me its not easy to get these two to stop laughing! One of the girls on this show said turrets is like electrical shocks zapping her body …. I get what she is saying. Another fella said he may go on one date but rarely gets two! The tears I had this morning were allot do with others who suffer. Without understanding to many heart wires get crossed and I know what that is like. I have had much rejection. in many forms. I have felt terribly mis-understood, frustrated and affected deeply by things in life that others don't seem to get. I get it …. I get it all, maybe not at 100% but enough to know, care and feel the pain of these realities.
Through it all ... I have never stopped smiling really...I have never stopped knowing deep down things will work out in life.

I have a beautiful mind and I’m thankful~