Purple Reign

I like the song by Prince "Purple Rain". There is one debate as to what the song is speaking to. Is it purple rain becasue of a suicide witnessed via a gunshot or does Purple rain mean purple REIGN as in the color Purple beign a royal color and one is wishing a good thing for another. A great play on words none the less. This whole experience with ADD/HD could be one of two things ...... it could be raining on me and drowning me or I can reign because of it. I choose to reign.....but I can not begin this reign in front of the world like I did my grieveing stage. The focus is intense .... and one must not be swayed by others thought or opinions.

This is a metamophasis ..... and it is grusome in a way to say the least. I will tell you why it is grusome and why I think most people do not change in their lives. The change is grusome because the people closest to you want you to stay the same .... thay are not comfortable with the challenges one may go through when changing the mind of all things. If I was learning to use an arm or a leg again that would be fine ......but this is way deeper...I'm learning to use my brain in a way that I can succeed and not be in the places I have been. The brain affects the moods, thoughts feelings and so on. All external, all very complicated to watch ..... watching is nothing .... just support me I think in my head...just be positive and give me that strength. I beleive most people DO NOT change things like this in their life becasue they know sub- consciencly that the world around them will create an oppossing force because THEY have discomfort with such changes. This is more than a repair ..... my motherhood, my finances, my every decision from now on hinges on this. Essentailly, everything is or has been broken and I'm on a mend from 36 years.
The necessary here is beyond what I'm willing to share. Some would say I need miracles for my back that has suffered under great amounts of my bodies electrical charge. Financially I have been taken advantage of in the work place (of all places) and more, so yes, I'm trying to repair that ... I could go on ..... and I will not. Im here to tell you today that I'm focusing on being "the first one to walk in healing" over AD/HD. I was not the first one to use some of those words, hence the quotations just used. Before all of this AD/HD trauma, I lived anonymously (for ten years) becasue my ex threatened to kill me and kidnap my son. You see, ADD/HD has really affected my entire life. I'm in control now, not some invisible monster that lurked in my mind. In fact there have really never been any... only a beautiful mind that is now understood. I will venture to say this .... my beautiful mind is more beautiful than I ever knew .... I truly am thankful and I cant wait to share more in time.




I have a beautiful and powerful mind and I'm thankful~