Medication Update....

I felt bad becasue I did not explain the med change yesterday as much as I could have. Learning together is why Bella's is here ... and I'm glad to share as I work hard at advocating. I got called to my sisters for the day so I have some time to Blog....

Re: Meds (I'm not a doctor or practitioner SO ...these are just my opinions exspressed here today.

So far I have been on meds that treat depression .... I am one not to go on meds but this brain thing got me .... I knew I had to humble myself if I NEEDED a doctor to listen to me someday! I also knew this was the route to take in order to gain control and understanding over my life. This choice has served myself and others I share this experience with really well!!

Let me get critical ... as I have said before this beautiful mind is electrical not emotional or suffering from phycosis!! Depression meds treat the three various hormones in the brain (seratonin, dopamine, and norepinephe). Can I ask ...what do organic chemicals (if you will) have to do with electricity and or Neuro firing in the brain?



Stay with me I'm making my case here. I told DR. Future (my psychologist) this in lay terms and he nodded .... I also told him the research that is out there says they cant figure out if us beautifully minded people have too much dopamine pooling and or are the receptors of the dopamine not absorbing (he agreed again). My logic is this ....the electrical current comes first which pushes forward (if you will) all these natural hormones which means this to me.....
So ... the drug I think is genius as of late it a drug that treats seizures. (I may have mentioned this before) if not here we are. :) FOR NOW (OR UNTIL I CAN FIND A NATURAL REMEDY) I take it at night ...it helps me sleep ...and my brain settles down and LOW AND BEHOLD I feel good the next day like none other! All the exercising and supplements and depression meds have not settled down this electrical process which (i think) affects MY hormonal balance. It makes sense ...(in my eyes) I'm now treating the core, the very root of the beautiful mind. This way the rest of my bodily systems get a chance to respond naturally ... AGAIN ... I take it at night...it calms my electric brain...which (I think) changes how the hormones fire. Very importatnt if I'm correct in this!!

Lets us stop here and ponder this for now ...

I have a beautiful mind and I'm thankful!!

Me When I was little ....

I have been working on my mind every day ..... I have gotten off all my medications and started one that I think is Genuis!!!!!
I take Addrerahl as needed .... I 'm trying to train myself to be like I am on medication (but off meds) as much as I can ..... so far so good..... :)

Here are two pictures below, extreemly different seasons of my life ...pictures from when I was a little girl (4 versions mind you) and one picture of me just a couple months ago (2007) ........

My entry today reflects a sudden change from my the past 174 or so entries here at Bella's ......

Life has a way of speaking and painting its own story ...if we are willing to get involed in the "creative process" we can control life a bit more instead of life controlling us .

I'm working on my healing .... for me ...and for others, I have to do it this way .... it motivates me ~

I have a beautiful mind and I'm thankful ~

Breaking lies Oh Princess Warrior ...

One of the things that has healed me and still does is this ..... I make it a point in my life not to lie to my own mind. There is more control over this than some beautiful minds could ever know . For me (and others I have interviewed who have beautiful minds) the trend is to get driven by the busy mind with little interrpretation as to why we see things in this neuro process unlike some others in our typical world. Note ...when I say busy, I mean underactive and an overactive mind. My goal in life is to wipe out lies and free normal people who have not been labeled as normal by using science.
I'm thankful for my beautiful mind.

My King (The Alpha and Omega) .... He is Mine and I am His Princess~

Healing ...

I'm healing and taking hold of my life like never before. Every day I make a conscience choice to choose life. It has been proven that there are two atom's that co-exsist ..... each atom represents a different outcome per circumstance.

Every day is a day of re-building my mind. Sari Solden talked about this as a much needed process. When I first read about this concept, I knew the work would be ahead of me. I also knew that the payoff would be good even though I could not see the outcome.
"Life is easy" ... "All good things come into my life"...... these are my mantras as of late. I profess the exact oppposite of what was before, to bring about what will be .... I have caught a vision for this season of life and I will walk it out with joy!

I have a beautiful mind and I'm forever thankful for this!

Purple Reign

I like the song by Prince "Purple Rain". There is one debate as to what the song is speaking to. Is it purple rain becasue of a suicide witnessed via a gunshot or does Purple rain mean purple REIGN as in the color Purple beign a royal color and one is wishing a good thing for another. A great play on words none the less. This whole experience with ADD/HD could be one of two things ...... it could be raining on me and drowning me or I can reign because of it. I choose to reign.....but I can not begin this reign in front of the world like I did my grieveing stage. The focus is intense .... and one must not be swayed by others thought or opinions.

This is a metamophasis ..... and it is grusome in a way to say the least. I will tell you why it is grusome and why I think most people do not change in their lives. The change is grusome because the people closest to you want you to stay the same .... thay are not comfortable with the challenges one may go through when changing the mind of all things. If I was learning to use an arm or a leg again that would be fine ......but this is way deeper...I'm learning to use my brain in a way that I can succeed and not be in the places I have been. The brain affects the moods, thoughts feelings and so on. All external, all very complicated to watch ..... watching is nothing .... just support me I think in my head...just be positive and give me that strength. I beleive most people DO NOT change things like this in their life becasue they know sub- consciencly that the world around them will create an oppossing force because THEY have discomfort with such changes. This is more than a repair ..... my motherhood, my finances, my every decision from now on hinges on this. Essentailly, everything is or has been broken and I'm on a mend from 36 years.
The necessary here is beyond what I'm willing to share. Some would say I need miracles for my back that has suffered under great amounts of my bodies electrical charge. Financially I have been taken advantage of in the work place (of all places) and more, so yes, I'm trying to repair that ... I could go on ..... and I will not. Im here to tell you today that I'm focusing on being "the first one to walk in healing" over AD/HD. I was not the first one to use some of those words, hence the quotations just used. Before all of this AD/HD trauma, I lived anonymously (for ten years) becasue my ex threatened to kill me and kidnap my son. You see, ADD/HD has really affected my entire life. I'm in control now, not some invisible monster that lurked in my mind. In fact there have really never been any... only a beautiful mind that is now understood. I will venture to say this .... my beautiful mind is more beautiful than I ever knew .... I truly am thankful and I cant wait to share more in time.




I have a beautiful and powerful mind and I'm thankful~

Spelling errors included ...

Ath << see this... was suppose to me "At". Well, dyselxia can be co-morbid with beautiful minds as well...you have no idea how many time I type backwards ..blogging has been fun and I hope you are all giggling! I left some eroors in tthis blog today ... thought it may be interesting for onserving alone ... :) I will try to dedicate a whole blog to this someday so you can see how the mind process's ...kinda wild if you ask me!

Many moths ago, I talked about the bitter season I was in. This season has indeed passed. Sari Solden
(author/pschyotherpaist, who was diagnosed mid-life) talked in her book about re-structuring the thought process after awareness has set in. I have been doing this .... I have my son on board as well because my AD/HD has affected both he and I. This has been a painfully slow going...to change the mind is like turning a big ship around in the ocean...it takes time. This has alos been scary. When realizing the quirks in the frontal lobes of my brain had forced me to live by my superconcious brain my whole life I freaked! The good thing about my beautiful mind is this .... I see the whole picture quite often. When I apply myself, study and understand it is more than just facts for me ... I get a three dementional picture or the whole picture some would say. This applies to my life alone. I have to say this .... it has been an emotional trip to activate my mind in a way that I have not before. It si as if that part of my brain had atrophied and it shook like a weak muscle ... hard to explain brain stuff...but I get it for me...I have comitted to understand me! :)

I have noticed since the intense pain has passed I have been fearful of pouring out some of the other junk I deal with in life. I will ask myself why .... when I come to that answer or when that answer comes to me I will wrtei about it. One thing comes to mind right away ...if it is not about AD/HD I guess I feel I would be off track here as this Blog is dedicated to AD/HD.

For now and always ...I 'm thankful for my beautiful mind.

More interesting news....

I have much to say but no time to wrtite.....
I will leave the newest pics then come back later.

Thankful still for my beautiful mind~