Update for my friends and family.

Hi my name is Zoe and I'm a chronic pain sufferer?

Where do I begin this? I don't know.

My back went out soon before I got diagnosed with my ADD but ...I NEVER TALKED HERE ABOUT THIS.

For the record...Eloquent writing is out for me right now. Please forgive me, I'm not feeling to creative and my head is all over the place ...and I'm in pain.


Many of you know I have been out of the loop the last three years. Dance partners and friends alike saw me drift to my bed and suddenly I was absent from you all. You all know this because the invites you keep sending me get met with my frequent declines. Now we are about to learn why. I have been waiting as long as many of you have been. I want to thank you all though for loving me. Not one of you have shown lost love for me but have shown patience and sincerity of care. Thank You. I love you all.


Pharmacy just called. New med, one that matches the pain, hopefully this ani-inflammatory will help. See what kind of morning I am having? Bear with me. I have been in and out of tears today. God help me.


So all this time, we thought it was my "back". X amount of X-rays, MRI's showed us some leads but nothing like the latest MRI that was taken. As many of you know, I just finished a 16 week "Med X" program they have top notch athletes do. I told my Doc. I wanted to be treated like an Olympian not a regular Joe. It worked and took 80% of my pain away....Except for my hips. So this led us to MRI just the hips. We found that I need to go talk to a orthopedic surgeon. My Doc thinks I need arthroscopic exploratory surgery first to see how to repair cartilage that is all compromised and some cysts they found.


When I finished the "Med X" program I finally felt good. I'm now working out ev. other day and I started to enroll in med. school and more. I saw a light. I still do but I'm crushed. My dreams on hold again? Furthermore, I do not know what my quality of life will me after surgery. My feminine ego is in utter shreds and as you know I lost my home and many dreams only to wait to make new ones to wait once again.

There is a positive to every negative. There is also an unavoidable, appropriate time to grieve all the facts. As I do, keep reminding me that there is a positive side....if I cry don't bother just keep smiling at me k?


I want to publicly thank my son for being a real man. He has manned this ship we call home all while working and going to school. it is impossible in a family dynamic to understand a chronic pain sufferer unless you have suffered yourself. My son had his times so to speak but he has been my hero and the only one to see the worst of me and still come out loving me. I love you kiddo and mom is sorry that my pain has been a part for your journey.


Why so public now? Why not. This is an official problem now. I have magnetic resonated images and answers. Now I can speak more intelligently about myself period. I have stayed back for three years because I risk being a burden or being rejected by folks. No longer is that my motive.

My name is Zoe. This is me. I have a broken heart, broken body and a beautiful mind and I will be thankful.