Just a litte break ...

Today is just a hard day. Yesterday and today I have had a cold ... and I kinda got my heart broke as well ... it is a little break, but that is enough to make a girl cry.

I have had a "type" of internal pain all of my life (sensory sensitivity) read about it before you judge-this is co-morbid with the ADD/HD. Yet another revelation along the way. Here is an amazing example of ADD/HD manifestation I will share with you....
Note: this only happens when I'm at home whre I'm relaxed and In my ultimate comfort zone.Now days when my son comes into the room and startles me I don't get tense ... Something different I have never felt happens ... I get tingles starting at my head....only to travel down my body and back up. One time, it ended in my teeth but usually it ends in my head and it hurts wherever it ends. I have NEVER had this throughout life even though it has been in my body. In the past it manifested FAR different (behaviorally) until I extracted information about stimming in regards to all this ADD/HD stuff if you will.I have modified my "physical" behavioral habits/ (knee jerk reactions). I cant help but be amazed as to how I used to "cushion" this energy through certain behaviors and now I'm left to feel them IN MY BODY! I do not allow the stress levels I once had before. I tend to ride out the tingling sensation and I'm thankful its me feeling this and that there is no outward manifestation of stress pouring out on my loved ones. NOTE: I have always struggled with my heart not matching what my body does, even if my body used words and emotion! I'm not globally disabled here folks, but I think about the many that do not have understanding over themselves as this is a very complex disorder here and everyone is different . I would guess that is is more likely ADD/HD sufferers are reacting physically at loved ones and causing themselves and their loved ones pain. There is no room for explanation when we fail only judgment...I say this because I felt why why why..?..so many times! WOW, what a life right ..NO....that is a slow path of destruction! Once I knew for myself the nature of my beautiful mind in this area I then made myself accountable. I have a tender heart indeed but I can be very strong as well so balance exists.
Now how about that "kittle break"... When it comes to my heart, I will need a fella who has more naturally driven compassion than most. I tend to see things on a deeper level in life and sometimes this can be painful and other times it is helpful and brilliant.
This all ads up...being sensitive is great for having a good relationship....
Good relationship material is impossible to find (it seems). I have lost faith in this area lately. Intelligence is at the core of this last statement of mine ... intelligence makes up for so many words when with one you love ... I love that not having to speak thing when the one you love knows what you would, or were gonna say! So ... just a little break in a tender place today. I really do not know what I would do without God as He understands me and all of my litte Princess needs~
I have a beautiful mind and I'm thankful ...